With news that the deadly Ebola virus may have reached America’s densest, most populous city yesterday, many Americans are freaking out. And some in the media are fanning the flames because, with Israelis and Palestinians not killing each other for a few hours, we don’t have anything else to write about. But you’re not going to catch Ebola. The chances of you getting it are, like, practically zero. If it’s even here, which it might not be. But there are lots of other things that can — and will — kill you. Here are just a few.
1. Being stung by a bee:A bee could kill you. The most recent statistics show that 54 Americans died from bee stings in 2000. But what if you got stung by a bee with Ebola? It’d be a BeeBola.
2. Food poisoning: One time I ate a salad from Wendy’s and got food poisoning. It was pretty bad, but I didn’t die. But 3,000 people do die, every year, from food poisoning. The salad was also bad, in case you were wondering. Not as bad as Ebola, but still.
As if the flu weren’t terrifying enough, French researchers have discovered the largest viruses to date. A pair of giant viruses discovered in underwater sediment samples measure 1,000 times bigger than the common flu virus.
Jean-Michel Claverie, who coauthored the paper that announced this discovery, told NPR the pandoviruses could have “emerged from a new ancestral cellular type that no longer exists—possibly from Mars.