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Donna Karlin

January 31, 2008

Leadership: Old Habits Die Hard

If they’re no longer working and continue to not work, replace them. What am I talking about? Old habits. Why in the world would you want to hang onto something that doesn't work for you when you have a choice?

Not only do individuals get buried in the past but when organizational culture enables this, the organization as a whole buries itself in the past and struggles to rise past it.

To combat this we need leaders who will look at human capital, not only financial bottom line, so people evolve and are well managed. It’s not only about the mechanics of how an organization works and leading them through an organizational change; it’s all about the people who run and work within it.

There are so many maverick thinkers in this world and if they’re not well managed and given a framework within which they can thrive and grow (in an organizational context), they will end up doing things their own way and pushing the buttons of everyone around them.

Leaders might manage process, as that’s how an organization’s nuts and bolts work, but they also have to lead their people within that framework. That way their amazing talents can be harnessed and benefit everyone concerned.

There is way too much energy spent on the bottom line, or cutting organizational overhead costs, support systems and human based components. Where a great deal of energy has to be spent so an organization can evolve and grow is in growing its people; paying attention to their uniqueness. Maverick thinkers or not, once you harness their passion and energy and show them the way forward, and that frameworks aren't something to fear but in fact a vehicle to success, they can leave the old habits by the wayside and create new ones that fit a future of their own design, not one of habit.

I’m not sure why old habits are hard to change (I don’t much like the ‘break’ term) especially when those habits no longer serve them. What I do know is there’s something very enticing to holding onto history, forgetting all the stuff that didn’t work and remembering only what did. Selective memory.

Toss those old habits and design those you want to adopt for the future and you’ll see a shift beyond anything you ever imagined.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 8:05 PM | Add Comment

January 23, 2008

Leadership: Combined Forces of Ego and Emotion

In a group dialogue a ways back someone posed the question “Why do so few managers and companies face and use the facts?”

There are many answers to that question and I know we’ll only touch the surface on this. One of the reasons why I think they don’t face and use facts is because of the filters that they put in place. Through those filters they process and apply facts, thereby coloring them to some extent. Most people have some kind of hidden agenda when they move forward.

Filters can be everything from over-inflated egos to cultural tethers. Facts are interpreted by people through emotion, through what their talents and strengths are (so would it be in their comfort zone or not), and everything in-between. It's through those filters or interpretations that might make one wonder whether or not organizational leaders are facing or using the facts as they stand at all. Add in the next layer of filters, such as assumptions, expectations etc, and even though they might be using expert advice compiled over time, that data or evidence is so watered down and filtered based on the people utilizing it, it no longer resembles the original information. Then, add the equation of multiple personalities putting those benchmarks to use and the facts are so altered, they might no longer be relevant.

Evidence based practice may be a starting point, however we need to figure out how to utilize it in the best way then go that level deeper. To use a medical analogy, it's the difference between X-rays and MRIs. X-rays look at the surface of a problem and its face value and MRIs go a lot deeper; the difference between assessing, and the basic assessment information with discernment as to its applicability within a unique organization. That is a key factor in my methodology of Shadow Coaching™. We have to take into account the uniqueness with regards to people, dynamics, resources, target clients/customers and all the other variables that apply.

Is seeking and applying a generic common factor using data in its true factual form (such as a rigid organizational model) or maintaining an organization's uniqueness that determines whether or not its leadership is successful and sustainable? Or is there some other combination that might ensure the desired results? I’d love to hear your three cents (or more).

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 1:23 PM | 2 Comments

January 16, 2008

Leadership: What Did That Mean, Exactly?

A few weeks ago Tom Stern wrote a post about buzz words. Talk about timing! Today was a perfect indication of what a buzz word can do, or many of them. One of the organizations I work in called in a trendy, high ranking consulting firm to help them change their organizational structure. Not only did they want the consulting firm’s strategy and words of wisdom but wanted them to help leadership with the change management strategy to get the employees on board with their strategy.

That’s great, right? It’s always a good idea to take best business practices and trends into consideration to look at best possible chances for success. Even more paramount for this organization was to look at the impact it would have on its people and to be able to articulate the changes to such an extent as to create buy-in and enthusiasm for every stage of this reorganization.

Again a great idea.

I was Shadow Coaching a client into the Executive Committee meeting when the consulting firm presented their plan to the 'powers that be'. So many buzz words were flying around and on a screen larger than life that I almost wanted to duck for cover. Not only was I appalled at the languaging they used but at how clueless they were that everyone around the table was lost and trying to figure out what they actually meant.

This consulting firm didn’t pick up the body language that screamed “WHAT THE H----!” The people around the table struggled to come up with the questions that would give them clarity while not feeling like fools for not comprehending the meaning of all these trendy buzz words. Not only didn’t they understand the presentation but felt intimidated and stupid in the process… not how any high level executive wants to feel!

So what happened? The consulting firm did not get the go ahead to move forward on a strategy no one could understand and the organization’s momentum was put on hold until they could get another firm in place to fine tune the restructuring and get this going. All for the sake of sounding ‘cool’?

It’s not trendy to talk so “out of the box” that the people hiring you think you’re speaking a foreign language. So next time, before you start throwing in some of these buzz words, take into account the message you want to get across, both verbal and subliminal. Plain and simple works too and is something people can actually have a conversation about.

If you're the decision maker in an initiative where you're bringing in a trendy consulting firm, first check and see just how 'trendy' they are and if they're so out there that you need an interpreter to figure out what they're saying. They might think they're the end all and be all of consulting firms but are they giving you what you want and what you and your people can understand? Dialogue is conversation between two or more people, not being talked at with jibberish. That's really expensive in every which way, people, time, money and energy.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 8:12 PM | 1 Comment

January 9, 2008

Leadership: Diving Into the New Year

It’s a new year. Yesterday a colleague of mine asked me until when was it appropriate to wish others a happy new year? My answer was (tongue in cheek) “Well if it’s the first time you’re seeing them since the holidays you can basically wish them, unless of course it’s June.”

In one way it’s a joke and in others, time seems to be flying by so quickly that before we know it, it will be June! I’m still receiving happy holiday wishes in emails. People are so busy they just haven’t gotten around to it.

I’ve never experienced such scattered chaos as I have this year. Clients and colleagues are scrambling to get into the flow of work after holiday breaks and catch up and it’s only the first week or so of January.

So it’s time to get a handle on things and if you want to take back control of your days, well, your life really, here are some tips to get you going:

• Have you designed environments that support you in every way so you have everything and everyone you need to move, evolve, grow and sustain you?


• Do you want to expend energy on reacting to everything that’s thrown at you or choose how you do things? If you’re going to spend time on something or someone, which is a very precious commodity (and remember our energy lessens as we get older, so no time like the present to figure this out for yourself) then make choices that are worthwhile. That’s one of my key intentions to pay attention to this year.


• Eliminate delay. That’s probably the best habit you can adopt. You won’t be wasting half as much time so you won’t have to play catch-up either.


• Get out of your own way. One of my quotes is “People become who they might be when they let go of who they are”. If you’re holding onto a way of being that isn’t serving you, then let go of it. Plus you’re not who you were 10 years ago. (If you are, that’s a whole other conversation).


• If you’re going to do the setting your goals thing, then make sure they’re really worthwhile. Setting goals for the sake of it, because someone tells you you should or because you think it’s a smart thing to do isn’t a reason to set them, because you probably won’t accomplish them. If they’re “should” goals, you’ll have an internal tug of war dealing with why you’re not accomplishing them. Only set them if you’re really passionate about what you’ll get, achieve, feel etc if you succeed. Make them so tangible you can reach out and touch them.


• Get rid of old baggage. The only person who’ll feel the weight of it is you and is that what you really want? Martyrdom has never been attractive.


• Don’t change your behaviour. Grow into your talents and excellence and hang out with people who’ll help you get there.


• Are you waiting for the ‘perfect’ time? There isn’t a perfect time other than now.

My three cents

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 11:01 AM | Add Comment

January 2, 2008

Leadership: Paying Attention To Your Own Leadership

Years ago I used to butt heads, create and collaborate with the grandfather of coaching, Thomas Leonard. To say he was a leader in our field is an understatement and even though he died way too young, his legacy will remain for many years to come. Those who worked with him mourned his passing and felt the hole he left in our profession. He was a creative genius, not only in his conceptual thinking but how he engaged and inspired everyone around him to do their best and think well beyond any box that was ever drawn or defined.

Sometimes in our lives we are lucky enough to work with someone who is on the cutting edge of a field of expertise, an industry or profession. These leaders have loyal disciples who are more than side kicks; these people are creative and innovative professionals in their own right. Lets face it…the Thomas’s of this world wouldn’t work with those who wouldn’t pull their weight. And now, years later, I’m watching the divide. One group still mourns him and are in the exact same places as they were when he was around. Others have decided that maybe it was time they made their own mark and didn’t keep trying to hold onto someone else’s coat tails. These are the emerging leaders in our field. It’s not that they weren’t great Coaches before; it’s that they were so hell bent on being a part of Thomas’ genius, they lost their identities in a way. Now that they’ve let go of the need to be a part of someone else’s success, their true selves and leadership style is coming to the fore. And they’re starting to pay attention

When we’re fortunate to work with a pioneer we also have to remember we have a great deal to give the world in our own rights. My question to you is, what are you doing that others think amazing, no matter how blatant or subtle, that you’re not paying attention to? And if you started taking notice, how much of an impact could you make on others and the world in your own way? I believe we all have strong leadership within us in some way shape or form. It’s a matter of acknowledging it and giving ourselves credit where credit is due.

My intention for this year is to learn something new from everyone I meet, as through their eyes I see the world anew. I want to always be a student even though I might be considered an expert in my field.

For the new year I will leave you with one of my quotes which I think is very relevant to this…”How we dream is what gives our lives value. How we choose to live is what determines whether or dreams have value. I believe we each carry a dream of a life we were born to realize which shows up through desire. And I believe that we all have the ability to realize our personal and professional dreams and potential if we commit ourselves to not settling for anything less than what we really want. It is when we move toward our passions that we experience our own greatness and it is then an incredible contribution to ourselves and to the world is made by being who we truly are."

May 2008 be the beginning of the realization of your greatest dreams.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 6:27 AM | 4 Comments

December 26, 2007

Leadership: Speaking Up vs. Silence

"What would you do if you heard a rumor that a co-worker was on drugs or had a drinking problem?” Last night at dinner with friends there were many “What if” or “What would you do” questions tossed around. The first about a chemical dependency was one of them. Another was “What would you do if you heard some news that affected a client, a family member or a colleague, that hadn’t been shared with that individual yet? Would you tell him/her, even if it was good news?”

We polled the table and it seems women would say something and men wouldn’t. Interesting don’t you think?

In my world, where I hear decisions as they’re being made, these decisions directly affect my clients lives, whether it’s a posting abroad, a promotion or a political appointment. I cannot say a word for various reasons, one being a confidentiality issue as everything shared with me or in front of me remains confidential by virtue of the ethics of my profession among other things and secondly if for any reason any information would leak out, they might lose the appointment and that wouldn’t be good news for anyone.

Still, for example, if you knew your spouse was going to find out something life altering, a promotion, a transfer etc before he or she knew of it, and it also impacted your life, what would you do? Would you say something or wait for official notification? The last question that was asked was, “If you hadn’t said anything would you fess up to having known it beforehand?” That’s probably the biggest dilemma of all as it might affect the level of trust between the two of you. Or would it perhaps strengthen it?

A dilemma for many; black and white for others. Many had a very hard time with this, more with finding out someone close to them knew and didn’t say anything, even when it was fantastic news. They felt betrayed.

If you were in this position, would you do and why? Your answers will help many people in this position and, perhaps, you yourself if you become faced with this same issue at some point in your life.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 11:27 AM | 8 Comments

December 19, 2007

Leadership: Stubborn Leadership

You have the job….the job of a lifetime…the job of a leader. Your heart is in the right place. You want to take your organization to the next level and you know the potential is there but you’re losing the support of your people.

One by one they’re leaving the leadership camp hoping an intelligent, well-meaning leader will see he is the main reason standing in the way of success. As one of that camp...someone about to bail, what do you do? How do you make him see the best thing he could do is step aside? Or is it the best thing he can do?

A dilemma for sure but one that is happening in too many places right now, mostly because the leader got the job for all the wrong reasons.

Do you leave? Have a heart to heart with him? How do you resolve a problem that could potentially bring the organization down?

I’d love to hear…

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 8:39 PM | 9 Comments

December 12, 2007

Leadership: Are You a Maverick Thinker?

Are you a maverick thinker? By maverick thinker, I don’t mean coming up with the ideas and innovative concepts to run with, rather it’s balancing innovation with what already exists and is successful that might give an organization the winning edge.

For some organizations, especially government, the hiring process is so rigid, it excludes the maverick thinkers, relying more on educational and professional credentials than what they can bring to the table. Toss government criteria in the mix when they have to classify levels to the ‘nth’ degree which adds a restricting framework around how the job gets done, and it makes a huge difference as to whether or not maverick thinkers can thrive or even exist.

Supporting these thinkers while at the same time moderating what they actually fly with will make a difference with regards to payback. That's the role of leadership. Not an easy role by any means. Leadership has to moderate how many new ideas the organization will fly with as running with too many ideas will cause loss of focus and reduced profit in every realm, not just the innovative ones.

Many have no idea what they shouldn’t be doing so dive in with both feet. Some become extremely successful and others can’t understand why they’re struggling. If you talk yourself out of things before they start, you’ll stagnate. If you don’t even conceive that failure is an option, you’re more apt to take risks and play with innovative concepts and ideas.

Energy will be on possibility rather than the impossible. If leadership provides a framework around which these maverick thinkers can ‘play’ then who knows what can happen?

D’you know what I mean?

Next time you find yourself talking yourself out of trying something you’ve been dying to test out, give it a chance. Explore the possibilities with those who can support you and let them see your passion and energy. That’s the first step. You figure out the second that’ll work for you. Go for it! And those of you in positions of leadership? When is the last time you let a maverick thinker really come out to play? If you haven’t, how long do you think they’ll stick around?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 8:18 PM | Add Comment

December 5, 2007

Leadership: Evolving Dialogue

Last week I was working in Washington D.C. with a group of masterful coaches. This group was amazing! Most had never met each other before but the level of trust, engagement and respect for each other was off the charts. I watched them evolve through dialogue.

One of the topics I cover in my training is assumptions in dialogue. When we assume someone is coming from a certain place and work with them based on that context, everything that unfolds after that assumption is based on air, not fact. We have to ask the fundamental relevant questions in order to build something strong and of substance.

How often does that happen in organizations? When we engage in conversation with someone it’s for many reasons such as fact finding, validation, direction, and perspective. When we speak to someone only to validate our current knowledge and perspective, it’s not a two way conversation; it’s a dialogue of the deaf.

As Coaches, we are usually called in to work with people to help them evolve to their level of excellence. If all we did was validate what they already knew without exploring the rest, they’d pretty much stay exactly where they were. Our roles are to help people move forward. Isn’t that the role of leadership? If the 'powers that be' don’t engage in generative dialogue, they are eliminating the fact finding, direction and perspective they might need to move the entire organization forward.

Nic Askew recently shared “ ‘Inner-vision' comes from within the organization, from deep inside an individual or group of individuals. 'Purpose' is often a construct of the words & ideas of others, disguised as an original idea.” In order to do that we not only have to hear, we have to listen to all the players not just the upper echelon. It’s a way to capture the intangibles, the soul of an organization and let it emerge in a powerful way. It’s not taking words that sound good and try to force an organization to fit them.

Life happens through every experience, interaction and conversation. We have to pay attention to what that means and to what the ramifications might be when we don’t. Awareness is curative….and generative. Generative dialogue creates newfound awareness. Then we can build careers, people, and organizations.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 4:05 PM | 1 Comment

November 28, 2007

Leadership: Waiting for a crisis

I was talking to a dear friend and fellow Coach this afternoon about ‘waiting for a crisis to change our ways of being’. It applies in all aspects of our life, work, personal relationships, and health, as well as the health of an organization.

To say human beings process things a certain way is to give validity to a perspective or paradigm that doesn’t serve us. Why wait for a crisis to implement change or rethink and reinvent something? Why not just create something incredible to start off with when everything is already good?

Could it be we automatically settle because amazing things happen to someone else, not us? Is it possible we don’t want to ‘press our luck’? Many become workaholics and yet won’t redefine their lives until their partner is about to ‘walk’. There are those who won’t redefine how a company operates until it’s in crisis and about to go under. Why wait until the last moment when digging yourself out is so much harder than building something new?

There might not be a simple answer, but I’d love to hear your insights on this.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 3:07 AM | 1 Comment

November 21, 2007

Leadership: Ignorance Can Be a Good Thing

How many times have you heard “Knowledge is power”? Knowledge can also kill your power.

One of the most difficult roadblocks to get past with my clients is when they become successful. Many many years ago I used to do an exercise with my clients on SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and tangible). They used to set short term and long term goals. When they reached their half way point, way too often they would back off and plateau. This wasn’t the kind of plateau that George Leonard speaks about when he says you achieve mastery while plateauing; it’s the kind of plateau where you hit a brick wall and start regressing because something inside you says “I never thought I’d ever get this far. Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead and not press my luck”. Sound familiar?

Luck has nothing to do with it. My clients achieve success because of hard work, determination and an energy that won’t get them down. Sometimes the process can bring you down and sometimes too much information can stop you dead as well. What do you have to pay attention to and what shouldn't you pay attention to?

I’m not stating this is the only way to go and that it would work for the masses (caveat ahead of time). For years I’ve been asked about my business plan. “What is your 5 or 10 year business plan so you can measure your success against it?” How many set goals for themselves that seem realistic but they’re sidetracked, make new decisions to go in a different direction or decide they wanted to make new choices in their lives? Then along come friends, colleagues and family members who ask “Whatever ever happened to….?” and self-confidence flies out the window as you find yourself making excuses as to why you’re not already successful.

How many set goals and plans for themselves and miss incredible opportunities along the way? If I had stuck to “the plan” half of the amazing opportunities that have presented themselves over the years would have been tossed aside or completely ignored.

Starting out, many who are now successful leaders didn’t necessarily have all the knowledge they needed to start a company or dive into a profession but their passions guided them there. As they didn’t gather the data or speak to so called experts who would tell them it couldn’t happen, it didn’t occur to them that it couldn’t happen. Rather they knew they would do all they needed to do to make things happen.

When I broke away from being an associate with a large national company I didn’t look for all the data that would back up why I would fail on my own. I didn’t look at statistics or gather reams of information. What I did do was listen to what the needs were of the people around me and figure out what I could do to meet those needs and then some. For me, ignorance with regards to the business piece of my practice was bliss, and because of that, every year I reach a new high in my work and my life.

You could either look at all the ‘why nots’ or say “Why not?” Choice is yours. Next time you have the opportunity to meet with someone successful in their field, ask them how much was planned and how much just happened. And if you’d like to share some of that with us, great. We’d love to hear!

For all my neighbours south of the border, wishing you a very happy Thanksgiving!

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 8:32 PM | 1 Comment

November 14, 2007

Leadership: Knowledge vs. Wisdom

I was recently at a conference where one of the speakers said “Learning is more than gathering information”. That statement had a profound effect on me for many reasons. We looked at the difference between knowledge and wisdom and were asked “How many people have you met who have an immense amount of knowledge, are like walking encyclopedias but aren’t very wise? And how many people are very simple and don’t have a wealth of knowledge or information but are very, very wise?”

Take that question and add one of mine. Which person, the knowledgeable or the wise, leaves the biggest impact on you, so you remember the conversation, the context and take those words of wisdom and apply them to your life? My answer is the wise one.

In the days of vast amount of knowledge available at the tip of our fingertips, the world is fast become an even playing field when it comes to gathering knowledge. A great deal of it, through open source is available for no cost. Wisdom however is something that is priceless.

If we listen to all the knowledge that we’re bombarded with, we will close down and start ignoring it. There is way too much information to remember coming at us at the speed of light (thanks to technology). We can’t possibly retain it all. We can however look for guidance from those who have a wealth of wisdom because they see context, relevance and how it impacts us.

Do you consider yourself wise or knowledgeable? Regardless, which would you rather be?

I know many people with post graduate degrees coming out of their ears who can’t find a job. Why? Because they’re scholastically overqualified but don’t have the savvy, the perception and perspectives needed in a fast paced, competitive world. They get lost in their knowledge and get stuck on research but don’t integrate it and use it as needed to move themselves and organizations forward.

When choosing my development team I didn’t look at their degrees as much as experience, impact, awareness factor and openness to grow, learn and create. Knowledge can hold you back in the realm of what was already studied and documented. My team looks at possibility. How they live their lives, their work ethic and open-mindedness got them chosen for my team. I'm seeing the same trends more and more in the corporate world. Who do you think would serve your organization better? Perhaps it’s time to look at a culture change?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 10:52 AM | 8 Comments

November 7, 2007

Leadership: Leadership Assumptions

I was revisiting all the comments I received from last week’s blog and they got me thinking….

I heard everything from “Talking about leadership style is a distraction” to analogies re the present Administration to definitive ideas of what makes a leader. These are amazing, insightful comments.

I wonder how many assumptions are made around the term and definition of ‘leader’? One might assume that a leader needs followers. One might assume a leader is brought on board to help evolve an organization. And one might assume that a leader has the ideas, insight and innovation to bring a stagnating organization forward. There are assumptions that leaders have the “ability to see a bigger picture than us and an ability to make meaning for us”. That is definitely not the case, though something most people crave in their leaders.

I could ask 100 people about what they look for in a leader and get 100 different answers. Oh yes, there would be commonalities, but as everyone’s needs differ, so do their needs for what they want in a leader.

A question recently asked is “Do leaders really listen to advice or do they use advice to validate what they already know and want to do?” A great question. To find out the answer I’d have to poll many a leader. You might assume I’m going to pose that question to you (and you would be right)

Listening to advisors and integrating their advice are very different and can really impact a leader’s world. Paying attention to informed advisors can also make or break a leader. I know many in positions of leadership who are known for their experience and level of expertise but that doesn’t mean they have the up to the minute information they need or are up on current trends. No one person has all the information necessary to run an organization. What they need are the right contacts in various areas of expertise to give them what they need when they need it.

As a Shadow Coach, one of the dynamics I question clients on is when they say “Interesting concept, however I would have done it this way”… and continue to outline their perspectives. When this happens on a regular basis, I challenge my clients to stretch beyond what they know into the world of the unknown to listen for and integrate what they didn’t know.

Great leaders listen to the wisdom of those around them. I’ll go out on a limb to not only say that’s an assumption but a fact. Learning is more than gathering information. It’s being open to realizing you don’t know and will never know all you need to know to lead and operate from that premise.

Your thoughts on this?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 11:46 AM | 4 Comments

October 30, 2007

Leadership: Leadership Is Context

I was going to write a long post about leadership within various contexts, however I thought I'd start a dialogue to hear what you have to say about this.

One can't remove leaders from the context of their worlds and expect to measure their leadership style and effectiveness in any way. It's all about the context of their world, their surroundings, people, challenges, stability and sustainability of the organization.

From the other perspective often context creates leaders based on what unfolds in their realms. Take a third perspective and many a time context defines what style of leadership is needed. So do you put the cart before the horse? Horse before the cart or is it a give and take relationship?

Who seeks out a leader who hasn't proven great leadership? And yet, circumstances might dictate who a great leader is in one context while being a poor leader in another.

This is very intricate, has many facets and goes directly to defining sustainable and mastery in leadership. What are the common threads? How do you see it?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 5:20 PM | 15 Comments

October 24, 2007

Leadership: Listening, or Listening and Incorporating?

Most leaders ask for information but not necessarily for advice. Many will listen to advice and then end up tossing it and doing their own thing. Is it a pride issue do you think? Or in some cases, do you think leaders hesitate to ask for and implement advice because they think in some people’s eyes it shows a sign of weakness?

I often work with leaders who listen intently to what’s unfolding before them and even though some of the issues are critical, respond by saying “I would have done it this way” or “Yes, I see what you mean but you should do this instead”, totally discounting all advice. They are downloading information, perhaps using bits and pieces of it to validate what they already know or feel, but they’re not doing anything with the advice they were given. Most of the time it’s unsolicited and they let you know they didn’t ask for it either, making that one of the main reasons for not taking it into account.

People will stop suggesting or giving well based advice because they know it’s falling on deaf ears. Is that leadership or dictatorship? And we all know what that kind of dynamic does to self-worth.

Is it power, politics and self-preservation?

It doesn’t matter how secure we are, don’t we all want to be on top, the kingpins, to dominate those who we feel might just know more than we do?

Ego at play; no matter how much we want the best for the organization and its people, we all need to have our egos stroked now and then, don’t you think?

Even if we think we know all there is to know, mastery comes from practicing from a position of what I call grad basic or going back to the basics from a position of having been there, done that. There is always something more to learn. You might be starting from a higher plane but just think of how much you’re going to pick up that you missed the first time ‘round.

Whose responsibility is it to encourage advisors to speak up, to bring ideas, thoughts and concepts to the table by actively engaging others with the intention of listening and learning? The leader’s or the staff, or both?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 8:53 PM | Add Comment

October 17, 2007

Leadership: Working in the Twilight Zone

There’s a quote by Monica Baldwin that goes something like “The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn't, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there.“

My clients, and me, by virtue of my days becoming theirs, live in a world where it practically always does happen. No two days are alike even if it’s planned that way.

To lay out a bit of context for you, here is a global organization that is in the midst of major structural changes. The top three in positions of leadership are new, my client is fairly new, and on top of it they are doing a structural change that affects all of management, all departments as their structure and mandates will change as well. No two days are alike as they are still finding their way. The first thing I asked them was to define the differences between defining their roles and designing them. I wanted to them to take control over whatever it was they could control and if that was working together to define roles and responsibilities, reporting structure, deliverables and to a great extent, even where their offices were located, at least they would feel as if there was some order to the chaos.

Well today defied all the norms and I decided that if I was to break the acute tension that was so tangible you could reach out and touch it, I would have to ask or do something outlandish. So I asked the client I was Shadow Coaching what her day reminded her of. She paused for a moment and answered “I can’t say because I have never experienced anything like it! I’m in the Twilight Zone!”

Talk about being given a gift. We looked at the concept of that old favorite show and how it did indeed define their world today. It really was perfect. As we ran from meeting to meeting, watching others stressed to the nines, I engaged my client to partner with me and have a dialogue about working in the Twilight Zone and how even best laid intentions turned out completely different because the world wasn’t in our control. It brought a hint of humor to the entire building which immediate lessened the stress that was tangible the moment you walked through the doors.

It’s true that humor conquers all. The entire management team went from survival mode to what I call 'thrival' mode. When I left this afternoon they were pumped, smiling and even though mentally exhausted by the sheer volume of work they know they'll have to do in order to make this a success, at the back of their minds they have this vision of working in the Twilight Zone that they will remember with a smile for the rest of their lives.

We changed an environment that wasn't sustainable and put a new twist to it so it just might work. What are you dealing with that you might want to turn around and bring a whole new perspective to? A question that I often ask clients and will leave you with is “What if the next thing you did or said could transform the organization? What would that be? And what would that look like?”

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 4:58 PM | Add Comment

October 10, 2007

Leadership: It's Perfect...Just Perfect

Today was a fascinating day. I started with a new client, someone very high level in the organization and wasn’t sure what to expect as not only was she a new client but was new to the organization, so I hadn’t yet seen much of her in action.

As I usually do before starting my day Shadow Coaching™ my client is to see ongoing clients for a few moments for reality checks, scheduling, contracting and just to touch base. Today was no exception. What is different is that this organization is going through a major restructuring at all levels. Every department is short-staffed and on top of this, all the systems have to be changed to meet the growing needs so their entire world is in flux. Those in positions of leadership are doing twice the hours they were doing before to pick up the slack and to create a strategy for implementation of this giant re-org. Needless to say, tempers are short, people are burned out and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

Strangely or wonderfully, I’m not sure which would be the most appropriate term, today seemed to be a turning point for me in my work because it was as if a switch was flipped and all of a sudden, many of my clients ‘got it’, i.e. they realized why I was saying what I was saying and gave it back to me in spades.

When this re-org began and they weren’t quite sure which foot to put in front of which first, a couple of my clients were having a very rough time. In our sessions I turned to them, separately and at separate times and asked, “What is so perfect about this when it clearly isn’t?” One almost threw something at me and the other cracked up because he’s never quite sure what will come out of my mouth. It was the start of a long insightful conversation.

Well a few months have passed and here I was with this new client standing at the elevator to go to a meeting when one of my other clients asked me how my day was going. I smiled and said “Fascinating” because it was….but they always are! He started grinning and turned to me and asked “What is so perfect about it when it clearly isn’t?” I told him just being asked that made it absolutely perfect!

He got it. He knew what I was dealing with, new leadership and all, and although I love chaos and the unexpected, after all it’s my life in a nutshell, he knew I saw it as perfect, just as he started seeing his chaotic world. Because of the change in perception, he started having fun with the craziness. Bottom line is, if you can’t enjoy the most intense, unpredictable times and those times are going to be sticking around for a while, then get out because in the world we live in, things are no longer predictable, no matter if you’re at the top of the totem pole or the bottom.

When I got to the meeting room another client who was having a really rough day saw me Shadowing my client and started smiling. When I asked why the smile? She said “I was just trying to figure out how I could tell you just how perfect this craziness is”. Yep….life is just perfect.

Can you look at something that happened to you today and ask yourself “What was so perfect about this when it clearly isn’t?” and have an answer? It works. And it’s contagious. Try it with your staff or peers when they’re going through a particularly rough time and see how the attitudes change on a dime. Fascinating!

It might sound simplistic, yet defining perfection for you is never simple. What it does is put things in perspective, take the power away from the chaotic moments and put it back in your hands. Nothing simple about that, not by a long shot.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 7:57 PM | 7 Comments

October 3, 2007

Leadership: Defined?

What is a great leader exactly? That is one of the questions consistently tossed about all over the world. I've read books upon books on leadership, write about leadership but is it defined in the true sense of the term or does a leader's unique style define it along the way?

If defining a leader was based on proficiency or criteria, would that align with the individuality of the organization or the people within it? Is it something one can be measured against now or after the fact? Think about it. How many people are considered great leaders the moment they walk into the position? They don't. That is earned after they've achieved success.

A catch 22 perhaps?

Theodore Roosevelt said "The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it."

If you take that quote and take it to mean a person in a position of leadership (who else would be picking their people?) then does it mean someone that gives direction and then backs off?

A constant complaint from clients.....their work is checked and rechecked and half the time discarded. It’s demoralizing to them and deflates their desire to produce. Yet how many leaders do that?

Ralph Marston wrote "Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment." By doing that, you not only empower those who work with/for you but grow and learn at the same time. Is that a better definition of leadership?

Ask yourself this question....if you lost your title, position and power tomorrow, would others still support you and want to work with you? A difficult question to ask, but an important one at that. It's a question many don't want to be asked because they're afraid of hearing the answer. In this day and age that question is translated into a 360°. You're told in every which way whether or not staff, peers and superiors would follow your lead. But what is done with those 360s afterwards?

I know...many questions. Coaches are great at asking questions for clarification. And as there are many of you out there who are quick as a whip, have insight, opinions, ideas and perspectives I'd love to throw a few questions out at you..

1. How do you define a true leader?
2. Should there be a tool or assessment for a future leader to be measured against before taking on the position?
3. Should peer assessments be done on a regular basis to see if that leaders is measuring up?
4. In some organizations, staff is now choosing their leader. Does that ultimately make a difference in the success or an organization?

Looking forward to your three cents.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 9:12 AM | 9 Comments

September 26, 2007

Leadership: Hard to Imagine What It's Like to Not Know What We Know

I recently reviewed the book "Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die," by Chip Heath and Dan Heath.

In it, they state "To strip an idea down to its core, we must be masters of exclusion. We must relentlessly prioritize. Saying something short isn’t the mission — sound bites aren’t the ideal. Proverbs are the ideal. We must create ideas that are both simple and profound. “A one-sentence statement so profound that an individual could spend a lifetime learning it. Once we know something, we find it hard to imagine what it’s like not to know it. Our knowledge has “cursed” us."

This hit home. This sentence, so profound that a “one could spend a lifetime learning it”, being able to live that would be a dream come true for a coach. As a Shadow Coach™ I have a finite amount of time available for me to coach my clients as we run, as clients live in a world that’s at the center of complex challenges in chaotic times (their definition, not mine). Unlike most coaching sessions, mine are sometimes a matter of moments, two or three minutes where all I have time for is a laser session that zeros in on one dynamic, one situation or moment in time.

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Posted by Donna Karlin at 8:17 PM | 7 Comments

September 19, 2007

Leadership: Organizational Authenticity vs. Integrity

This afternoon I answered the question “What does it mean for an organization to be authentic? A few answers came to mind one of which involved whether or not there’s a difference between Organizational Authenticity and Organizational Integrity. Is there a difference or are they one and the same?

An organization can be in alignment with its vision, mission and mandate but walk all over people to stay authentic to that. At the same time, that organization can also align with human values and ethics creating an entirely different organizational culture. Is that what it means to have organizational integrity? Or not?

I’d love your opinions on this.

Along with looking at this question, I’d like to bring to the table organizational sustainability. Does an organization have to exist from a basis of integrity to be sustainable and successful? Or do the ‘cut throats’ ultimately win out and force the ‘good guys’ out of business?

I think if we asked the same question in many different fields and professions, diametrically opposed opinions will emerge. If you’re leading in any capacity, this is a question that needs answering at some point. If you don’t define it, someone else will.

Care to play and discuss this?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 2:59 PM | 10 Comments

September 11, 2007

Leadership: Tagged for a Leadership Challenge

I was recently asked to participate in a challenge called “Why Most Leadership Sucks, Including Yours…by John W. McKenna. I wasn’t thrilled with his languaging and told him as much on a previous Fast Company post to which he replied “I could do better”.

”I could do better” Can’t we all? In some way shape or form, even if it’s just subtle, we can do better, different, opposite, or whatever is needed when we’re in a position of leadership as that’s what leadership is. It’s not independent of the organizational culture nor is it independent of context. As it’s the anniversary of 9/11 it’s apropos for me to use the following as an example:

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Posted by Donna Karlin at 9:23 PM | 4 Comments

September 5, 2007

Leadership: Acknowledging Leaders

This week I was tagged for a Personal Development List through my personal blog Perspectives. This list grew very quickly and exponentially and soon became a Blogger’s phenomenon as those tagged made recommendations for others to be tagged. The ripple effect was extraordinary. Because of that list I was again tagged to give my opinion for something called “Does Most Leadership Suck Challenge”.

Now I have a fundamental problem with pretty much everything about this so called challenge, from the name, the focus and the reasons behind doing this in the first place because I do feel most people want to succeed as leaders, even those put in the position by chance or default. Blogging is a powerful, far reaching and influential medium. I wouldn’t have a community of subscribers who I dialogue with from 111 countries otherwise. So I’d like to turn the “Does Most Leadership Suck Challenge” around for a moment and ask you, the readers, to tag people who are amazing leaders no matter what their level of responsibility within an organization, so they are recognized for their strengths, not because they might “suck” in someone’s view. Who are they and what stands out about their leadership? Is it their style, their ways of communicating? Their vision or enthusiasm?

Speak to strengths, you’ll get more of them. The same goes for weaknesses. It goes back to my post on “I caught you doing something good”. This is “I’m tagging you for being someone great, whether for a day, a month or always.” What do you think? Do you know someone who ought to be acknowledged and recognized for his or her leadership? Let us know who that is and send them a link to your comment so they not only know you’re acknowledging them but telling the rest of the world too.

Call it ‘Acknowledging Leaders Week’. I look forward to seeing how quickly this list grows.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 8:58 AM | 6 Comments

August 29, 2007

Leadership: Today I Will...

This week I will….

Will you? Best laid intentions…How many leaders brainstorm about changes that have to be made to move an organization forward, arrange endless meetings and retreats and perhaps actually dialogue about what those changes should look like, only to park it all and live with the status quo?

It happens more often than you think. What stops a leader from jumping in with both feet to make it happen? There’s a chemistry that happens in an organization and if your enthusiasm for the results that change might bring isn’t contagious, it won’t be sustainable. So how do you make sure it is? How does everyone have to ‘get it’ according to them so there’s buy in? If the leader hesitates, that in itself sends a message and the ripple effect could make the difference between engagement and having a fight on their hands.

We look at successful leaders as people who move organizations forward and take them on the road to continued success. Some organizations continue to fly and others might succeed for a short while but that success is not sustained. Why do you think that is? Are leaders measured by organizational success or by their style and staff engagement? Is it possible to separate the two? Or can a leader be successful for one organization but bomb in another? A group of us were in conversation about that just last week. Some say successful leaders are measured by who they are, not but the success of the organization they’re working in, yet how in the world can one be separated from the other? If you lead people to failure, yes, you might be great at leading but that gets into good leadership and bad leadership and everything in-between.

Leaders need more than necessary skills sets and a wealth of knowledge to lead an organization into the future. It’s a combination of chemistry, people connectedness and vision. Articulating that vision in such a way where the staff really gets it, owns it and wants to make it happen is the key, so when they say “This week I will _______” or “This year I want to make _____happen” they’ll have the power with people to make it so.

However just because they’re able to do with one group, doesn’t necessarily mean that leader will be embraced by the next. What does a leader have to do give him/her a fighting chance?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 12:12 PM | Add Comment

August 22, 2007

Leadership: Space, A Precious Commodity

Space. Was your first reaction to the word accommodations? Office space? Closet or cupboard space? For many storage space is at a premium so that’s the first thing that comes to mind.

That is not the space I’m referring to. I’m talking about space of time.

I’m currently working on a Time Mastery program that looks at time. It’s not about cramming more into a day than you did before, or scheduling, using a PDA or BlackBerry. It’s about time, the concept of time and how we respect it and ourselves in relation to time. We’re in the midst of looking at leaders and how they seem to fly through their days, directing, delegating, strategizing, making decisions and yes, calling endless back to back meetings.

So I took some time to look at time and see its dynamics. I then started asking my clients what they thought of first when they heard the term “buying time”. In one way or another, the answers revolved around having more time to do things, see things, to play and shelve work for the time being. It was hearing “I wish I could clone myself so I could do more” and “I wish I had more time to…”

Truthfully it had nothing whatsoever to do with having more time or saving time so something else could be slotted into that chunk of time. Rather, what they weren’t saying but meant was they wished they had time. Extra time. Unplanned time. They wanted space….nothingness, quiet time, time to just be, to let the thoughts fly in any direction, to think, imagine and explore possibility.

They wanted creative time, time to conceptualize, to strategize, to play, learn, and get to know others. They wanted time to unwind and relax. Many had forgotten how. They couldn’t remember the last time they just relaxed or didn’t rush to do something else in that tiny bit of time that appeared unexpectedly. They felt guilty if they took time for themselves, so they didn’t. Instead they did something for someone else or worked. Time, space, is such a precious commodity, heaven forbid they couldn’t waste it! And was doing nothing or planning nothing during that short period actually be wasting time or valuing it and themselves? Relax? What’s that? They didn’t remember how to relax. They were wired all the time, literally and figuratively.

People don’t know how to do nothing. They forgot how.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 7:35 PM | 2 Comments

August 15, 2007

Leadership: What People Want

Are you inspiring your staff or motivating them one task, one project at a time? One is sustainable and energizing and the other is task oriented and expensive energy. There have been many studies undertaken over the years to look at employee retention, growth of rising stars, employee satisfaction and morale etc, and most of them generate the same conclusions. These studies look at why morale might be low and how the organizational culture might enable poor staff retention. It’s just as important to look at what’s being done to counteract and reverse those trends as it is to study the dynamics and reactions because of them. But is leadership paying attention to studies about their people or just about ones that relate to cutting edge trends and the bottom line? Are the same groups and organizations polled a year or so after the results are in to see if there has been any sustainable change in the status quo? How about again a year after that? And if nothing was done to implement and ensure change, what were the ramifications? Those are the studies I'd love to see.

One of the key research papers by Terry Bacon that we analyzed and discussed at last year’s International Coach Federation Research Symposium delved into what people wanted from their workplace relationships. It was an in depth, brilliant paper that looked at, among other topics, cultural differences, gender, age and level of position. There were quite a few commonalities between the 20 year olds and the 60 year olds, one of which was they wanted to be respected. The younger age group wanted to be respected even though they were the new up and comings and the older, pre-retirement aged group wanted respect because of their experience and wealth and depth of knowledge and weren’t quite ready to be put out to pasture just yet.

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Posted by Donna Karlin at 2:07 PM | 1 Comment

August 8, 2007

Leadership: It's All About You...It Really Is!

Writing content for a human behavioral program is no easy feat. Sending it to my R & D team for their input, edits and thoughts and expecting to just get regular every day feedback is next to impossible. Consider a 26 week program which means 26 segments along with intro sheets for each being analyzed by coaches. Do you think any of them agree on concept, approach and impact and not want to talk about each and every point? I think you’ve figured out the answer to that one.

R & D teams are amazing resources and I am very thankful for mine and the other one’s I’m involved in. Getting my 'It’s All About You…and Others’ program vetted, tweaked and launched this week was probably one of the most difficult tasks I’ve ever undertaken. It wasn’t because it was so hard to write content, as let’s face it, humans are very unique, multi-faceted beings so I’d have enough content to write for the rest of my life! It was that the dialogue that evolved because of the button-pushing questions in the program was so good none of us wanted it to stop. Perhaps there’s a blog in there somewhere.....

We can either live in a rationalizing world or one where we look at the truth of our lives and our places in them and change, tweak and embrace pieces of it accordingly. When we live in a world of rationalization, we tend to make or try to make the unacceptable acceptable and that’s where cracks in our foundation of life start to form. Cracks can become craters if we’re not careful. People tend to ignore those cracks and often only start paying attention when a chasm forms.

In one of the weekly modules I state “People fail to see that they are the magic wand they wait and wish for. They’re always looking somewhere else for a magical solution. Why are you looking for that magic wand? What choices do you have to make to create those results all on your own?” That one thought inspired weeks of dialogue for us personally, as coaching professionals and because of what we see in the lives of our clients as well. How many wait for that perfect time? What is that perfect time exactly and what makes it perfect? They wait for ‘one day’, or for retirement. They make lists of places they want to travel to and yet never pull those lists out of the drawer because they’re waiting for that magic wand to give them their promotion first, the winning lottery ticket, that grasp at the unreachable, which is reachable only if they started making changes in their lives. It’s so much easier to lead others than lead ourselves through life.

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Posted by Donna Karlin at 7:46 AM | Add Comment

August 1, 2007

Leadership: Are You in Meeting Hell?

Have you been in meeting hell lately? I love observing my clients in meetings. Way too often I see the glaze of boredom come over their eyes, or one of puzzlement as they sit through a meeting they have absolutely no idea why they’re at in the first place. That’s a great indication of how quickly a group moves forward …or not. An organization that can’t get their meetings right won’t have a decision-making body they need either in order to get the job done. With the wrong people at the table and lack of direction within the meetings themselves, there is a fundamental roadblock to moving forward.

When I poll staff in organizations at all levels and ask them what their biggest time waster is, the answer is always “meetings”. Not sometimes. Always. We look at the dynamics of the meetings, the players, the content and how often (way too often) there is no agenda whatsoever, so the attendees even know what information or documents to bring to the table. When I even bring up this topic my clients will often throw their hands up in the air and say "I don't even know where to start!" Their days are spoken for before they walk through the door and yet they're still expected to get all their work done. When? After hours? Does leadership of any organization think this will be sustainable and actually think they'll retain their staff? Obviously the answer must be yes because this is the status quo of way too many organizations. Or is the answer yes?

I believe this happens because leaders aren’t paying attention and aren’t informed as to the time pressures that exist for their staff. More and more, priorities are heaped onto groups but the question “What can I drop so I can get this done?” is rarely asked. The subject of time, meeting hell etc must be discussed. It won’t go away and in the days of conference call meetings and multiple time zones for global organizations, the pressures are even tighter.

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Posted by Donna Karlin at 7:40 AM | 2 Comments

July 28, 2007

Leadership: Living Through the Rear View Mirror

My business cards have a shadow of a person driving with a reflection in the rear-view mirror. Why? Because I tell my clients “If you live your life by constantly looking in the rear-view mirror, you’ll eventually crash and burn. Objects (or past history) in rear view mirrors do appear larger than they really are. Our pasts seem to be magnified exponentially in our memories.

To build on my post for a moment from July 11th 2007 Direction Defined or Not , you can’t live your life through your past. You can build on it and move forward because of it, for good or bad but you can’t live on your laurels forever. You’ll have to start living your future right now or before you know it, you’ll be looking at just more of the same and no movement whatsoever. For leaders, that could very well mean being put out to pasture and replaced by those who build a future by the choices they make right now. Successful leaders celebrate their successes, build on them and move forward. They constantly reinvent.

Recently I was with a group of people working together to create business plans. What an amazing experience! Each person asked for help and support in making their professional (and in some instances personal) dreams a reality. Yet there was one who started off every sentence by “Oh I used to do that, and when I did, I did it this way!” His was the only way, the best way, and he seemed to have done it all. If there were twenty projects and directions the others wanted to take you can be sure he said he had done all of them at some point in his life, and yet he was the only one who had no definitive direction as to where he wanted to go for his future. The others around the table gave him some ideas he might want to work with. He nodded as if he was actually listening but ran with none of them. Through the week we kept hearing “When I used to do that…”

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Posted by Donna Karlin at 3:40 PM | 7 Comments

July 25, 2007

Leadership: What If You Said No?

What would happen if you said no? Would you begin to panic once you heard the words leave your mouth? Start to scramble to backtrack and end up doing what you said no to in the first place?

Part of my last piece about react vs. respond encompasses this very question. I watch clients every day react to being tasked with something they really can't do. Either they are already so bogged down with work this might be the straw that broke the camel's back or they have no resources to do it properly in the first place and no clear mandate as to why they have to do it. And yet they automatically say yes.

When I ask them the question, "What if you said no?", most of the time the answer I get back is "I don't think I can say no" or "It never occurred to me to say no or that I could say no!" or "I've automatically said yes for so long, it's a habit and I'm no longer aware I'm doing it.

Think about it for a moment. Hasn't that happen to you more than once when you wanted to just kick yourself?

What would happen if you pushed back and said "What can I drop in order to do this?" How many of you have the guts to say no, it can't be done and not fear for losing your job? What does leadership have to 'get' in order to accept that not everything is possible right now? Once that tiny three-letter word (yes) leaves your lips, it's rare you can go back, and yet isn't this one of the quickest reactions of all jumping in without testing the waters first?

Has it ever happened to you and if so, what did you ultimately do about it?

This can be one of your most amazing learning curves. Not an easy one, granted, but definitely a steep curve. That dialogue has to happen. It has to happen when there are no pressures, as a hypothetical conversation that shows example. Then it's much easier to implement when you have that dialogue to refer to. When you set boundaries and say no strategically, leadership will learn that you're not saying no randomly. You're saying it for valid reasons and unless there are some fundamental changes in the status quo there is no way you can do one more thing without burning out or burning everyone else around you and as well, giving shoddy results. Where's the win-win in that?

So how do you say no and not only live with it but thrive because of it, as saying no leaves you space to say yes to the things you should be doing. That's what priorities are all about. Defining those priorities is one of the key skills of leadership. If they don't know that, this could be a great learning curve for them as well.

Thoughts on this?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

Posted by Donna Karlin at 12:38 AM | 2 Comments

July 22, 2007

Leadership: Reacting vs. Responding

People limit themselves without realizing it by reacting to situations, rather than responding and broadening their horizons.

That statement is one of many in a new program we're launching this week called "It's All About You...and Others". It's in the final tweaking stages and is being proofed and reviewed by some of my colleagues and clients before going live. Out of the 26 segments of this mini self-coaching course, this one statement is pushing more buttons than any other, and let me tell you, as a self-awareness behavioral course, there are a lot of very edgy truths besides this one that one might think would push more buttons than this.

Perhaps it's taking responsibility for how we react to situations that are out of our comfort zone and then get angry and react in the process or perhaps it's an in your face "look at when you react and act yourself why" question that comes to mind.

I'd love to hear how you look at a statement like that and how, if at all, it might apply in the context of your world. That's what it's all about, though isn't it? Awareness of self and our place in our world.

What's your immediate gut reaction to this?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com