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April 11, 2005

Leading Ideas: It's Not Your Words

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." -- Carl W. Buehner (1898-1974) Mormon leader, businessman and author

Recently I heard Thomas Crum, an American Akido master, tell a story about meeting the Dali Lama. It was a once in a lifetime experience in which he got to be with him alone. At the meeting, the Dali Lama simply asked Tom how he was doing and then listened to his answer. "The whole encounter lasted 5 minutes maximum," Tom recounted, "and yet the way he listened to me made me feel like the most important person in the world. He was truly amazing."

Something to consider:

People may not remember what you say or do, but they will always remember how they feel around you. They will remember if you made them feel inspired, or peaceful, or confused, or angry or any other feeling. You get tagged with that emotion whether you like it or not. And it goes a long way to determining your relationship in the future.

Something to try:

1. What impression do you leave with people?
2. Check in with a few close friends to see if your thoughts match theirs.
3. Figure out what impression you'd like to leave.
4. Align your thoughts and actions accordingly.
5. Recognize that really listening to someone is often the best way to make a good impression on them.

Question: What have you found leaves the best impression with someone?